Revelations
by Witchytara25
Summary: Do you deserve the happiness she offers you?


_A/N: I'm back. This is what happens when I am allowed to watch the end of Season 7 and let my mind wander. This is what I wished would have actually happened. I always felt that Emily left because of her feelings for JJ. That she would never want to do anything to make JJ unhappy. I just wish the writers would have explored this. Oh well. This is why you have us slash writers out there that have way too much fun making the characters do what we want them to do._

_Criminal Minds does not belong to me. If it did, I would have fought harder to keep Paget and I would give AJ and Kristen the money they deserve. In my world, the wedding never happened, but JJ did give birth to Henry. So, I hope everyone enjoys this._

Sighing, you pack the last bag and look around your apartment. Five years in the same place is a long time for you. You wonder how your life got to this. How it got to the point where you want to pack up and leave, never looking back. That's why you jumped at the job in London; if anything, it would get your mind clear and put behind painful memories of Doyle, of having to fake your death to protect those that you love more than anything in the world.

Your family. The people who took you in when you thought all was lost; who saw through your façade and your walls and made it so you had something you never thought you'd have in your life; you didn't deserve them. They didn't deserve the pain of you faking your death, going into hiding because of a madman who was hell bent on destroying you.

If the truth be known, you could handle all that. You didn't work undercover not to be able to pack up and leave at a moments notice; you didn't do it for years to bring down terrorists because you enjoyed the thrill of the chase; the fear of being found out. No. You can handle international terrorists; you can handle madmen like Ian Doyle; you can handle serial killers like George Foyet.

What you could handle was falling for her.

The blonde haired, blue-eyed beauty who haunted your dreams. Who you fell for the moment you walked into the BAU. The blonde who had the power to make your heart sing and shatter it all in one motion. Who had no idea how you felt about her, because you kept that in a compartment so tightly locked that no one would ever see inside you and figure it out.

You stood by as she announced her engagement to Will; the southern detective who, you had to admit, wasn't a bad guy, but you knew deep down wasn't right for you. No one on the team particularly cared for him, but he seemed to make her happy, so you pasted on a smile and congratulated her, giving her a hug. Never letting anyone see how your heart was shattering inside.

After she announced her engagement, you walked for hours, never noticing where you were going until you ended up outside the bar where so many nights were spent with her and Garcia, unwinding after a long case. Tears filled your eyes and you blinked, never letting them fall. You turned around and were startled to see Derek standing behind you. He said nothing, just put his arm around you and led you away.

Riding home in silence, he never pressed you for answers. Just let you sit in silence, with your head leaning against the window. He stopped in front of your apartment building and turned the engine off and looked at you, saying quietly, "You have two choices. You can either tell her or you can just walk away and let her be unhappy in the long run with Will. The choice is yours."

You should have been surprised, but you weren't. If anyone could figure you out it was Derek Morgan. Your partner. The person who had your back and you had his. The one person who could see through your walls, call you on your bullshit and still flash you a smile when it was all over.

"I can't, Derek. She deserves to be with the father of her child. Not with someone like me."

"Have you ever stopped and asked yourself what she wants? Maybe Will isn't what she wants. Maybe it's what she's settling for because she thinks she can't have what she wants."

You don't say anything for a moment and he lets you sit there, thinking that over. "It's too late. She's pregnant, she's with Will and that's the way it has to be."

You watched through the years as she gave birth to Henry, broke her engagement to Will and somehow became a strong single mother who had a good relationship with Will. Still, you never made a move, because you wouldn't risk losing her friendship.

Now, the job from London fell into your lap and you jumped at it, if anything to get away from her and the memories of what could have been. Sighing, you glance around the room, your gaze falling onto a picture of you, her and Garcia taken at a bar about six months ago. You trace your finger over her face and let a single, lone tear fall, thinking of how much you love her, but how it will never be returned.

Morgan and Hotch were the only two who knew you took the job in London. You were going to break the news to the rest of the team tomorrow in the conference room tomorrow. You knew Garcia would probably yell at you, Reid would be heartbroken and confused, and JJ would probably wish you good luck.

Suddenly, your doorbell rings and you jump, wondering who could be at your door. Peering through the peephole, hand on your gun, you notice a pissed off looking JJ on your doorstep. Swallowing hard, you consider for a moment pretending not to be home. The doorbell rings again and you debate on hiding.

_Come on Prentiss, you have faced down Ian Doyle and some of the worst murderers, but yet, you're afraid of opening the door for JJ? Then again, you've seen JJ pissed off, and you have a feeling that she's figured out your leaving._

"Emily," she calls, "I know your in there. Your car's parked outside. I'm prepared to either keep knocking on your door or I'll camp out here all night long."

Sighing, you unlock the door and pause for a moment, gathering your strength up, knowing that she will make good on her threat. You open the door and she pushes her way past you. Sighing again, you close the door behind you and turn to face her. "Can I help you JJ?"

"How could you think you could leave and not tell anyone? What were you going to do? Send me a card when you got to London, explaining the situation? I thought I was your best friend. The one person you could trust with everything."

"I was going to tell the team tomorrow."

"So that's all I am to you? Is just part of the team? You couldn't have told me personally? By the way, I found out from Garcia, who found out from Morgan."

_Should have known I couldn't trust Derek not to tell Garcia, y_ou think inwardly, knowing your going to yell at Derek tomorrow. "I have to go JJ."

"Why?"

You swallow hard and look into the blue eyes, which are blazing with anger and hurt. "Because it's time for a change."

She takes a step towards you. "So, you were going to leave and not tell Henry that one of his favorite people in the world is leaving? You were going to let me explain to a very confused three year old where you were?"

You look away and feel the sadness at the mention of Henry's name. The child you loved like he was your own. She takes another step closer, continuing. "Not to mention, I'm confused why your leaving. I know that you haven't been the same since Doyle, but you've never talked to me or anyone else about it."

"What do you want me to say JJ?"

"I want you to talk to me, goddamn it!" She explodes. "You used to talk to me about everything. Now, getting you to open up is like taking a two by four to a brick wall. You've shut everyone out. We love you, we want to help you."

You look at her, and your compartments snap firmly into place. "There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine." You turn your back to her and gather your thoughts, not wanting her to see the emotions that are in your eyes.

"Bullshit. You've shut all of us out and, to the average person, you seem fine. But you're not. You used to talk to me but now you won't. I want to know why."

Suddenly, rage and anger boil over and you turn around, pinning her with a look that makes her take a step back. "You want to know what happened? How it felt when he tortured me? When he tried to rape me? When he threatened every single one of you and I felt the only way to save you was to do it myself and take on Doyle? How it felt being over in Paris, totally cut off from everyone? How it killed me to be away from everyone? How it felt to know that the whole world thought I was dead because of a madman? Is that what you want?"

"I want you to talk to me."

"I don't want to talk." you turn around again, wondering if this will be the straw that pushes her away. You feel her swallow hard and reach out, her hand on your elbow. "Em…..please."

"JJ, I think you should leave. I have things to get ready to go."

"No." You turn around, brown eyes locking on to the blue orbs that make your breath catch in your throat. "I'm not leaving until you answer me one question."

Sighing, you look at her, wondering what the question could be. "What?"

"What makes you so afraid to open up to me? I'm not going anywhere."

You feel the tears gather in your eyes, and you turn your head to the side. "You should go."

She takes one more step closer to you, until she's standing in front of you. "Emily…please."

You look at her, and the anger that was there a little while ago is now replaced with concern and frustration. You feel your walls starting to break down a little, but you say quietly "JJ…please. Don't do this."

"Why? What makes you so afraid of me of all people?"

You feel the walls start to come down and you look at her. "Who says I'm afraid of you?"

She chuckles, but there's no humor in the sound. "Your afraid to let anyone get close. I thought I was the one person who could break through those infamous walls of yours. I guess I was wrong. But let me tell you something. I saw your face when I announced my engagement to Will. I saw you try to keep it together in front of everyone. I saw the pain flash in your eyes."

You swallow and open your mouth, but she holds up a hand and you let her continue, "So here I am, engaged to someone I don't really want to be, but the one person I want, won't let me know one way or another if my feelings are in vain. So I went with his engagement, knowing the whole time my heart was taken by someone else. He knew it to. Will was slow, but he wasn't stupid. He did what he thought was right."

"I said yes, I won't deny that. But I never wanted him."

"Who did you want?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

She doesn't answer, but brings her hand up, running it down the side of your face. "For a profiler, you can be dense sometimes. So answer me, what makes you so afraid of me?"

You swallow hard, your eyes closing at her touch, the moment you've dreamt of so long at your fingertips. You whisper, "Because your real."

She smiles at that and you feel her hand cup the side of your face. "Open your eyes and look at me."

You shake your head and she asks softly "Why?"

"Because if I do, this is all a dream and all my life, that's all I've ever had. Dreams. Nothing is tangible in my world."

"Em…" she says softy, and you open your eyes, barely breathing. "I'm not going anywhere." She leans up and says softly against your lips "You don't have to be afraid of me. I'm not a dream. This is real." She brushes her lips across yours and you feel your heart stop for a brief second.

She pulls back and looks at you. "I'm real." You open your eyes and look at her, the blue eyes you can always get lost in and she traces a finger down your cheek. "This is real." She leans up and kisses you again, and this time, you kiss her back, hesitantly at first, not sure if your going to wake up and this all be a dream.

She pulls back and you open your eyes again, looking at her. She smiles and she brushes a tear away, one you didn't even realize had fallen. You blink, trying not to let anymore fall. She says quietly, "I've loved you for a long time. I've been in love with you forever it seems like."

You swallow at that and say quietly, "I love you too. I just don't want you to be something I've lost eventually. Everything that's good in my life eventually leaves. I don't want you to be something I've lost eventually."

She wraps her arms around you, pulling you towards her. "I'm not leaving. Not willingly. That I can promise." You lean down and kiss her, hesitantly and she deepens the kiss, wrapping her arms tighter around you. You moan softly and she pulls back, nibbling on your lower lip.

Suddenly she pulls back and you whimper softly at the loss of contact. "What about London, Em? What are you going to do about that?"

You say quietly, "I think my answer is obvious. I'll call tomorrow and tell them I'm not going."

The smile that flashes across her face is almost blinding and you blink again, trying in vain to not let the tears fall. She looks at you, the brilliant smile still across her face as she leans up and kisses you again, throwing her arms around your neck. "I'm still mad at you, by the way. For you were going to not tell me you were leaving."

"How can I make it up to you?"  
"I'll give you fifty or sixty years to make it up to me. Starting with tonight."

The tears that you've been fighting all night fall freely, and you have to wonder if this isn't all a dream. She brushes your tears away and you bury your face into her neck, wondering if for once you can have happiness. If it won't be taken away.

She brushes the tears away, and she leans back, looking you in the eyes. The emotions that swirl there take your breath away and you swallow hard. "Let me be the one that frees your compartments, Em. Let me be the one that you tell your darkest secrets to. Let me be the one who holds you when your afraid and having nightmares. Let me love you."

You nod and say quietly. "I love you. I've been in love with you since the day I walked into the BAU. I never was trying to hurt you by leaving. I just figured you deserved more than a fragile, emotionless woman who holds so many secrets that sometimes I'm not even sure what I'm feeling."

"Let me be the judge of that. No more running away from me. If you run, I'll chase after you. If you fall, I'll catch you. Let me be the one who loves every crack in you and fills it with the love that you deserve."

You swallow hard and lean down and kiss her fully on the lips, taking control. Smiling against your mouth, she deepens the kiss and only the need for oxygen breaks you two apart. Smiling softly for the first time all night, you take her hand into yours and intertwine your fingers together, noticing how perfectly you two fit together.

You lead her over to the couch and you two sit next to each other, your head going into her lap as she strokes your hair, you close your eyes. She says softly, "Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

Your hesitant to sleep, fearful that this all a dream. As your eyes close, you wonder if this time can be the time that you can have the happiness you deserve.


End file.
